Beginning of My End
by hello-pony-bear06
Summary: Fragile, beautiful, vulnerable, and at my disposal...could I really damn my Bella Swan? Edward X Bella.Rated M to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. They and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I, however, am borrowing the characters and the events transpired to write this fictional tale.

**Beginning of My End**

**Chapter 1**

"Edward," Bella snuggled closer to his stone chest, "you are very quiet this evening. Are you alright?" Bella met his eyes with a stern gaze. I averted her gaze and instead picked up her hand, "Of course I am fine, my love." Liar. Thief. You are going to hurt her and you won't even warn her.

_I did warn her…I warned her not to get involved with me…_

Even so, I pleaded with myself to think this through again. I begged myself to find another way. "Bella, it's late. I need to go." She readjusted herself in my arms. She sighed a frustrated sigh, "Will I see you upstairs?"

_Oh god, how I wish I could stay, but this is for the best, my love…_

"No. I will not be staying tonight." I looked away from her. "Edward…is something wrong? Edward!" We were outside now and I was already 6 feet away from her. Bella Swan swung herself I front of me, "Dammit, Edward! Something is wrong! Tell me! Please." I ran my hands through my hair, if I didn't finish this soon, I wouldn't be able to leave. I would fail her again. "Bella, you are not safe as long as I am here with you. In order to keep your sweet pulse beating, I have to leave. I don't…" I hate myself, "…**want** you anymore." She took a few steps back, "W-what?" Tears stained her sweet face. Her beautiful eyes were fearful, "You don't want me? Y-you don't love me anymore?" She took a deep breath, "I knew none of this couldn't have been real. You are too good for me. Too perfect…I'm just Bella Swan, a plain, human girl. Not good enough for Edward Cullen." She grasped me around my waist.

_I want to hold you! I never want to see you cry again! I am doing this because I love you!_

I pried her hands from around my waist and kissed her forehead, "Time heals all wounds for your kind." I answered coldly as I turned away for the first and last time. I would never return to see her. I heard her try to follow me, so I ran. I ran until I could no longer smell her. I fell to the ground. Sobs racked my body, no matter that I couldn't cry. I almost felt human. Almost, if only I hadn't hurt her, what a monster I was. What a damnation.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. These and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I however, lay claim to borrow them for this work of fan fiction.

Chapter 2

Bella's POV

Cold, empty, hollow…this is how I felt. Nearly 4 months had passed since I 'died'. Not in the physical sense of the word, but in the emotional sense. I was empty. All I held were now echoes. My heart was cleaved in two. I was exhausted. How I wanted to end this. How I wished I could die. I had been hearing his voice again lately. Strong, stern, beautiful…His voice, my angels voice that sang like velvet. His voice always healed me for a moment. Maybe an hour, maybe a week….then I would die again. I only heard his voice if I did something I knew he would hate. I went cliff-diving, rode motor-cycles, even went to a bar; all this, to hear his voice again.

School was a habit. One I held no interest for anymore. I tupped downstairs to the kitchen where Charlie was reading the newspaper. I poured myself some coffee and prepared some toast. Charlie's glass was almost empty, so I refill it as the toaster announces my breakfast is done. I poured my coffee into a thermos, wrapped my toast in a napkin, and kissed Charlie goodbye.

My old, beat-up Chevy sat as it always did; lonely, quietly. The February chill had evenly coated the trees and ground in a thin blanket of snow. It was beautiful as always, but I didn't notice. I hadn't noticed anything in months. My truck rumbled to life and I wound my way out of the driveway.

When I arrive at school I park alone. But one thing remained the same; I couldn't help but look at every silver and red vehicle that pulled in. I am always disappointed.

1st period, 2nd period…in my life, the day passed quite slowly; exhaustively slow. I never look at anyone; I avoid any signs that could remind me of the un-living man I missed so much.

"Bella?"

I usually didn't answer if someone wanted to talk with me, I usually just let them talk and nodded my head when they were finished.

"Bella, I was wondering, well, it's been over 3 months. You seem to be a little on the depressed side. No offense or anything, but it's not a pretty sight. And well, I think you deserve a little excitement…" Mike Newton continued on and on. He wanted to take me on a date. Again. I'd already gone out once with him just to get Charlie out of my hair. It was a mistake, and a fiasco. Not one mistake I wished to play over again. I met his eyes, "Mike." Several people around me gasped and watched our conversation intently. I cleared my throat, "I'm not interested in dating anyone, at least not in the long-term way of things," I sighed, I couldn't believe I was actually agreeing to this, "But, fine. Since you asked so nicely and since I am oh-so depressed, I guess a date with you is just what I need." Apparently he didn't catch the sarcasm in my voice, because next he was asking me, "Okay, does 8 o'clock sound good? Tonight? We'll go to the diner or something." My mouth dropped open and my brow furrowed, "Fine." I sighed and mentally kicked myself, "I expect you'll pick me up?" He nodded. Great, now on top of avoiding life, I had to make sure not to let Mike try to create any.

Back home, I went back into my light depression. I was going on a date with Mike. Again. I didn't like the idea. I held no interest for Mike Newton and I had hoped he'd pick up on that one little hint. He followed me around like a love-sick puppy all day, asking: what kind of food I liked, what my favorite colors on him were; all were very stupid questions. He wanted more than I wanted to give. I dressed quite modestly with my favorite jeans and slightly baggy, red sweater. I placed no make-up on my porcelain skin. No jewelry on this cold body. I watched herself in the mirror, _not good enough_, I told myself for the millionth time since he had left me. I was **never** good enough. How could I have been beautiful compared to his god-like appearance? His looks demanded attention. Next to him, I held no regality, no perfection. I was and am nothing compared to Edward Cullen.

"Bella! Mike's here!" Charlie called me from downstairs, waking me from my reverie.

I sighed and grabbed my purse. I didn't like this change anymore than he would have.

"Bella, you look gorgeous!" Mike said for the seventh time in the 18 and a ½ minutes their date had now consisted of. "Thanks," I mumbled for the seventh time. This was getting aggravating. He wanted to impress me, but he was making a fool of himself. He had taken me to the only café in town. No one was there on this Monday night._ Good, I don't need the publicity, _I thought giddily. "Hey," Mike reached across the table and grabbed my hand. My eyebrows rose at this. He continued, "Let's go to the beach. Some other people were gonna show up. Kind of a bonfire…some kids from La Push were gonna bring the booze." My ears perked up at the mention of La Push and I ignored the booze part,"Where is it exactly?" Mike told me it was outside of Forks and La Push. Like a borderland.

_Neither vampire or werewolf territory_, I thought, _free land_.

"Okay, let's go." I grabbed my purse and picked myself up out of the deep booth, "Comon!" I persuaded Mike and he followed me with a weird grin on his face. He had been acting weird all night, but I had ignored it for the most part.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. These and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I however, lay claim to borrow them for this work of fan fiction.

Chapter 3

Alice Cullen sat with Jasper on their bed. She was tired. Jasper tried to get her to relax, but she was fighting his powers. The whole house was quiet. Absolute silence, like a tomb. It hadn't been this quiet in a long time. It was times like this she wished she could sleep again. She wished she could dream. Dreaming always made you forget things like this. In dreams you could forget your pain, emptiness, sadness…Edward had been with them 1 month before he left. They hadn't heard from him since; he never answered his cell phone. Edward had nearly driven himself to the grave with Alice giving him a play-by-play of Bella's life. The whole family knew that was why he left. Alice had tried calling him once to tell him she thought Bella had killed herself. Alice couldn't help it though, she got the visions, she didn't decide who or what they were about.

"Jasper," she whispered as she fell into a vision. Jasper sat up and saw her pained expression. She began to sob as the vision ended, "B-bella…no…" Jasper began to panic, "Alice, baby, tell me what you saw! What happened to Bella? Was Edward there?!" Alice choked back another sob, "Call Edward. Mike Newton is going to hurt Bella. He will hurt her…very badly."

Edward's POV

I was laying in my hotel room in northern California. I was trying to relax and cast aside all thought, but it was difficult. I had the TV turned up so I could drown out the newlyweds and their perverse thoughts next door. My cell phone had been ringing non-stop all evening. I didn't want to answer it. I glanced at the caller id, _Jasper_ it read. First Alice, then Carlisle, now Jasper.

_Dammit,_ I was compelled to answer, "Yeah?" I answered the damned device.

"Edward! Finally! Bella is-"

I cut him off, "I told you not to get involved or to trouble yourselves with her!"

Jasper anger was raging so much I wondered briefly if I could see him through my phone, "Damn you, Edward Cullen! You think we can control what Alice sees?! You are seriously screwed up. You couldn't be a more stupid, selfish bastard." I heard Esme in the background scolding him.

I rubbed my temples trying to control my own anger, "If you guys are just trying to get us back together-"

Jasper interrupted me this time, "Edward, I believe she deserves better after what you did to her."

"Shut up. You don't know anything. You wouldn't understand."

"Oh yeah? Try me. You never told us anything, Edward, so how the hell were we supposed to know?!"

I simmered down, "Tell me what is going to happen."

"Bella is going on a date with Mike and he is going to hurt her."

My anger flared up again, this time, it was an inferno, "When and where, Jasper?"

"Tonight! In the borderlands."

I flipped shut my phone and ran. I only hoped I could make it in time.

Bella's POV

"So, how many kids are supposed to be out here?" I asked Mike after noticing there were no cars where they had parked, "I don't hear anyone or see a bonfire." Mike licked his lips, "Oh, well, they might be coming later. We were actually supposed to meet a little further up ahead…you know…" He was stumbling a little and I was trying to keep my distance from him.

Without warning, I heard a growl inside my head. A deep, throaty growl. A territorial growl. A warning. I tripped, surprised at how real his voice sounded, how close. Finally, they stumbled onto a clearing. They had reached the beach.

"Mike, I don't think anyone else is here…" Mike turned on me and grinned, "Maybe they'll be here later." He grabbed my hand and pulled me tightly to him. "Good thing they aren't here yet…I'm kinda wanting some things from you, Bella Swan. Things I wouldn't want anyone else here to see…" He held me so tightly to him I could smell it now. Alcohol. _Oh my god_, how could I have been so stupid.

He pulled my face to his and kissed me. I tried to fight him off; I pushed, bit, kicked, and punched. Nothing seemed to move him. I fought his kisses as his hands roamed over my body. He groped, pulled, squeezed me. _Please, help me_…I pleaded.

I was wearing myself out trying to fight. He pushed me down beneath him on the sand. He held me tightly under him and fumbled with my sweater. "No!" I pulled my sweater back down over my chest and tried to squirm out from under him. His hand collided with my mouth; I felt her lip swell and blood bead out of it. Mike pulled my face right up his and whispered menacingly, "Listen! Shut up and stay still! If you relax, you'll enjoy this!" He grinned evilly. I laid perfectly still and crying softly. Tears flowed down my face as he moved over me. He groped his way down to my pants, and kissed my stomach grossly. I tried to ignore him touching me, tasting me. I felt cold now, almost stripped of all clothing. My sweater was torn to shreds and pieces were wrapped around my shoulders. My bra was cut to pieces. Mike was still messing with my pants when I saw him. I saw my angels face again, I heard his voice.

_Bella, hold on, my love…_


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. These and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I however, lay claim to borrow them for this work of fan fiction.

Chapter 4

A boulder-like body collided with Mike. "Hey! What the hell?!" Mike was face-to-face with a lion. Mike laughed, "So the cowardly ex-boyfriend returns!" Mike strutted around Bella, acting like he was protecting her, "Well, this one's taken! She's mine for now, but if you are patient, you can have her later!" Mike laid down on top of her, he placed himself between her legs, "Back to business…"

The lion grabbed Mike's collar and threw him aside.

"Bastard, what the hell, man?! I'll let you have a turn, now just wait!" Mike got as close to Bella as he could, "Now, bitch, tell the jealous guy to wait his turn…" Mike was taken off his feet. The lion held him in his hand by the throat.

Edward's POV

I glared into Mike's eyes. I couldn't stop myself. My darling lamb was strewn across the sand in the most provocative position. She was hurt, crying. This was unforgivable. I can't do this, can I?

"Coward, you can't do it, can you?" Mike taunted, as if reading my mind, "Your bitch there, she looks real nice down south, you know that? Oh, that's right! You never got **that** far with her!"

"Mike." I lowered him to his feet, releasing my hold on his neck, "Leave before I kill you."

Mike looked at him, "Whoa! Big Eddie gonna take out the new boyfriend? Is Eddie jealous because I stole his bitch?!"

"Don't you dare call her that ever." I glowered. If I wasn't careful, I would end up killing him.

Mike traipsed back over to Bella on the ground, "What? You can't stand me kissing your bitch? Making her moan with my tongue?" He grabbed her face and began kissing and groping her. I couldn't take this anymore. I erupted.

I held his neck again. Humans were so weak, so flimsy. With a flick of my wrist, his heartbeat ended.

I flung the lifeless body aside and breathed deeply, even though I had no need for air.

I knelt by my innocent angel. My lamb looked as though she was slain, slaughtered. She was naked in this winter chill; I laid my coat over her vulnerable form and gathered her up in my arms. She stirred and looked at me with her beautiful eyes, "I must be dreaming. Or having a nightmare..." She touched my face and I inhaled her scent. She was cut up and bleeding, but I could handle that. I ran her back to my house and laid her on my bed.

"Bella," was all I could say, and she fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. These and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I however, lay claim to borrow them for this work of fan fiction.

Chapter 5

Edward's POV

Watching her sleep was horrible. She tossed and turned, screamed. She would tremble and call out my name. She was having nightmares. I could have killed myself for making her this way. It hurt so terribly.

Bella's POV

I was hurt and cold. For a moment, I was confused; I thought I must still be dreaming because I hadn't seen this room for a long time. It was still dark outside and the house was quiet. I slowly remembered all the events that had transpired. _Oh my…Mike..._surely he was dead. Not that I blamed Edward. There was no way he could have been able to handle seeing that. I sat up in the bed. I was stripped of all clothing, so I wrapped the silken blanket around myself. I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw him. I couldn't breathe, seeing him was just so…the grief was over-whelming me. He wasn't going to stay so I might as well save myself the trouble and just leave. I didn't want to. I didn't know what to do.

Edward's POV

"You smell so tantalizing." I said from my corner of the room. She jerked when I spoke to her. "There are clothes in the closet," I rose to go out into the hall, "I'll be outside."

"No!" she nearly shouted, "P-please, don't leave me." I went and sat on my couch, not coming as close as I wanted to be. I placed my head in my hands, " Go ahead and change if you wish." Instead of going to the closet, she came to me. She knelt down in front of me, barely holding the blanket around her. She was so beautiful. I didn't want to taint her anymore than she was so I didn't touch her. She grabbed my hand and placed it on her cheek, "I missed you," she whispered. I shook my head, "I am so undeserving, Bella." Apologizing seemed like such a petty, human thing to do. Nothing would ever make me atone for this ultimate sin. I murdered her, "Bella, I do not know how to redeem myself for what I did to you. Please, what can I do to prove to you how sorry I am?"

"This," she whispered. Then she did the unforgivable. She pulled my face up to hers and she kissed me. I felt her warm, gentle lips on mine. I felt something in my chest shatter. I felt her warmth spreading through me like fire. I hadn't felt so alive in several months.

Bella's POV

I gently held his face in my hands. He skin felt as firm as it always had. I missed his scent, his taste, his feel…I missed him so much. I pulled his neck down so I could reach him more easily. _Now I will surely die…_I moved my hands across his chest to his shoulders. He pulled me onto his lap. I felt his hands securely moving around my back and shoulders, where the blanket had revealed my warm skin. His cool hands firmly grasped my naked back. Our kiss was long, passionate, and sad. I felt healed, but I knew I would feel hurt later, when he left. It felt as if he had never left me. I felt his arms under my knees and arms. He picked me up and carried me to the bed, never breaking our kiss. I adjusted myself when he laid me down, so I was still covered. He lay next to me and kept kissing me, stroking with is tongue. He tasted so good, and he was so soft. I broke our kiss and grabbed his hand. I kissed it, tasted it, smelled it. I nearly cried.

Edward's POV

"Bella, I feel so redeemed; yet so, undeserving." I whispered into her hair, "How can you forgive me?" She drew on my chest with her warm finger. Despite I was a frigid being, she was curled up against me, as if I was a heat source.

"I don't know. I guess…at first, it didn't seem real. I thought it was all a dream. I thought maybe I'm still in Phoenix and I never moved here. I never even met him. But I knew it all had happened. I had felt all those things with you. Things I couldn't have dreamt of." She sighed and looked at my face, I couldn't bring myself to meet her gaze, "I hated myself, thinking it was my fault. I thought I must have done something. I started to believe you didn't ever want me. I tried to find out what went wrong, find out what I did that was so terrible. She paused, "Every time I tried to hurt myself or tried to punish myself, berating and devastating my body, I heard you warn me. I did some things I knew you wouldn't like, all to hear your voice again. You would tell me to stop. You would growl at me. You would scold me. Even though your voice was angry, it made me feel whole. I guess hearing your voice so often, it made me think that maybe you didn't want to leave as much as you tried to lead me to believe."

I looked at the ceiling now, one arm draped over my eyes. _How cans she still love me?_ I was such a monster. "I will never, _never_ leave you again." I looked at her and she met my gaze. I felt it was time for the comic relief, "And might I ask, why the hell did you agree to go on a date with Mike?" She shivered, and I held her closer, "I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me." She swallowed, "After you left he ignored me for a couple months, like everyone else. Then he asked me out and wouldn't stop. Every weekend, every day…I just decided if I went out with him and showed no interest, he'd forget." Her eyes swam with tears, "I didn't know he was drunk. I had no idea he would do that to me. He…oh, Edward!" She held onto me tightly and sobbed. I stroked her hair and quietly hummed a song. It was a song she hadn't heard in ages, a song that was ours. As all humans do, she soon fell asleep. Forgetting time, and space, she soon was dreaming.


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. These and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I however, lay claim to borrow them for this work of fan fiction.

Chapter 6

Edward's POV

My angel lay in my arms. She slept peacefully and my mind wandered restlessly. "Bella…my beautiful, Bella," I breathed her name softly, gently. I was so aware of how fragile she was, emotionally and physically. I was aware of every curve of her body against mine; every strand of her hair blown in my face. I stroked her naked back and it brought some very passionate thoughts into my head. Every bit of her was vulnerable and at my disposal. I could easily break her. So gentle….so beautiful. How could I have ever hurt her so badly? I was selfish and stupid. I must have been deranged. Mad. Drunk…no, I was high. Her blood made me high. It was a good trip to go on. The kind that made you desire more, but also made you want an escape before you hurt her. It took control of you before you could call for help. She was my drug, my addiction. Exactly my brand of heroin…

I wonder what taking a drug is like. I never would have tried them, but what was it like? I wish I could have a drink right now. A good bottle of Samuel Adams might clear my head. Or maybe wine. I always wished I'd had wine. A smoke would have been more appropriate; Black and Milds cigars, cream flavored.

All the things I missed out on…how could even think about taking all of this from her? Can I ever take all of this from her?

She could grow up, go to college, get married, become a mom…if there's one thing I wish I could have, it would be the ability to create life. What I wouldn't give to make love to a woman and later find she is carrying my child! What a gift! How can I take that gift from someone else? How could I damn someone so beautiful?

_What a monster…_

"My angel," I whispered into her hair, "you bring tears to my eyes."

_I wish she could bring tears to my eyes._

I wanted to hear her thoughts, know her secrets, ease into her dreams…I wanted to touch her, to feel her warmth. I wanted to please her. How selfish of me. I truly must be cold-blooded.


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. These and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I however, lay claim to borrow them for this work of fan fiction.

Chapter 7

Bella's POV

I awoke this time to see crystals dancing across Edward's room. _Edward!_ How could I have fallen asleep on him? "Good morning," A voice rang like a bell from behind me, I rolled over. Sighing happily I looked at the sparkling figure next to me, "Hello, Edward."

Edward's POV

Obviously forgetting her lack of clothing, she pulled herself into my lap and laid her head on my shoulder, "I'm sorry I fell asleep." I chuckled, trying to think of anything but her naked body, what a naked body it was too, "No, you needed the sleep." I adjusted myself slightly, and looked away, "Bella, would you mind putting clothes on?" She nearly screamed as she jumped off of me, "Ooh…watch it darling." I chuckled as she grabbed the blanket, blushing madly. I wrapped my arms around her form from behind, "You are very beautiful and very tempting…when un-clothed." She blushed redder, my job was done! I kissed from her collar bone to her cheek to her mouth. I didn't think she could ever get any redder, "Go on and take a shower. Alice left some clothing here, so we should be able to find something suitable." Her stomach growled, "I will run to Port Angeles," her face dropped, "I'm not leaving, I am just going to get breakfast for the human. It'll take me about half an hour. No more. I promise." She trembled even more, "Why can't you just go somewhere here in town?" I looked at her quite seriously, "Because I cannot risk being recognized here; not with you having gone missing and Mike's "car accident"."

Bella's POV

I trembled again, more this time. I collapsed on the bed. We hadn't yet confronted that, so it was kind of shocking. I felt him sit next to me, "Bella? Bella, I understand completely if you do not want me to stay here with you. I will leave if you wish me to." I looked at him incredulously, "Why would I want you to leave?" Edward sighed, "Don't be ridiculous, I killed him. Of course, you are scared of me now. If not, then you truly are a crazy human." Sometimes, he really was stupid, "Idiot, you came and rescued me, and you think I want to leave you?!" I was near the edge of crying, "It was necessary…he was hurting me b-badly. Of course there was no way you could have watched that scene without killing him. I feel like I should be sorry, for putting myself in that situation."

Edward's POV

"What he was doing to you was unforgivable. I couldn't hold myself back." I held her face to mine, "Bella, I truly am a selfish monster." I didn't know how to say this without it sounding wrong, "When I saw you naked all I thought was, how badly I wanted your body. I didn't want him or us to be there. I wanted you all over again, so badly, in many different ways." She was about to blush, and I shrugged, "So, see? I truly am not the hero you make me out to be." She was blushing and held the blanket a little tighter, "No! I'm not going to...god no, no…I just wanted you to know, I want you so badly, Bella. I cannot rationalize what I did to Mike."

She fell against my side, "I love you, Edward; do you not understand that?" I held her and kissed the top of her head. I nodded, and replied, "I love you too…so much. I will never leave again." She sniffled, "Good, because if you do, I will find another way to become a vampire and beat your ass sorry forever." I laughed lightly, "Feel better now?" She nodded and sat up, "I guess I'll take my time getting cleaned up while you're gone." I kissed her, "You won't even know I'm gone."


	8. Chapter 8

Beginning of My End

Chapter 8

Bella's POV

I took a breath upon finding myself alone and without my angel. I decided I wouldn't find anything appropriate of Alice's to wear, so I pulled a bathrobe out of Edward's closet and entered the bathroom.

Although the Cullen's had no serious use for a bathroom, except to occasionally wash the filth of this world away, I was glad they did have one. I guessed it was Alice who stocked their household because there was an ample supply of exotic toiletries at my grasp. Exotic shampoos, floral bubble baths, sensual body washes….I admit, money has its perks. I ran the water in the tub, adding a liberal amount of bubble bath, so I could soak after I washed. I started into the shower.

I grabbed the first sponge I found and dumped a dab of soap onto it. I scrubbed at the sand that still clung to my hidden curves. I washed away every molecule of dirt and grime until my skin was raw. Even raw and clean, my skin felt tainted. Even though my face was wet, I felt tears well up. I let myself cry. The water dripped down my body and I shivered under the hot stream. My sobs slowly resided and I turned the knobs off. Stepping out of the steam, I turned to my now full bath tub. Slowly, I sunk my body below the surface of the foamy water. I felt the heat warm my heart and my blood. I was so confused about what I should do. I knew Edward had left me, and I didn't want to be angry or upset with him. But what if being upset was the smart thing to do?

Edward's POV

I returned to the house within 27 minutes, having wasted no time in getting Bella what was necessary to her. I heard the water running in the bathroom. I couldn't help myself. I had to check on her. I ascended the stairs and lightly knocked on the door, "Bella?" I heard the water shifting in the tub and a small voice, "Come in." I was taken back. I didn't think it appropriate to go in and see her when she was unclothed, no matter how appeasing the idea did seem. I sighed and shook my head, "Um, I think I'll stay out here, I just wanted to make sure you were alright." I felt like I could have blushed. I heard more splashing, "Please, Edward. Come in." I felt uncomfortable, but I carefully and slowly opened the door.

She was reclining, completely submerged, thank God, in the bathtub. The bubbles around her were completely undisturbed, completely shielding her from my view. I tried not to stare at her naked shoulder. Water was trickling down her neck; I would have loved to have licked it up. She was quite flushed from the heat, her cheeks rosy and lips wet. So irresistible….what a beautiful creature. I sat in front of the door on the tile floor. Far enough to maintain control, close enough I wouldn't miss anything. She crawled her fingers out of the water and over the edge of the tub to me. I scooted close enough to touch those fingers. She felt so warm and soft. So vulnerable in this position. A smile lighted her lips and she whispered, "Enjoying the view?" I was glad I couldn't blush because surely I would have. I didn't know what to say, I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to seduce her. My God, I had never wanted something more in my life. Not even her blood compared to this thirst. I guess it was primal instinct. I was staring at her as she lifted a leg to rest it on the edge of the tub. I would have loved to have kissed my way from her foot to her thigh. My thirst to join her naked in that tub was overwhelming me, "Bella," I swallowed and licked my lips, was my mouth dry? "I think I'll go make you some lunch." I quickly stood, a feat nearly impossible as entranced as I was. I reached the doorknob when I heard it. I heard her stand up. In the tub. Naked to the air. I froze, frightened of my control. She took a few tentative steps toward my back, and paused. She lifted her hand to lightly touch my neck with her warm fingers. I could have died from that touch, "Bella," I didn't look at her, "I'm about to lose control." She blushed, I could feel it. She stammered, "S-sorry. I don't know….what came over me." I stammered, "It's not your blood I'm tempted with." I stated and bent to pick up the discarded bathrobe, "It's your body." I turned and faced her eyes, not looking anywhere else. I wrapped the robe around her and tied it tightly. Her lips were still wet, so I kissed her. I pulled her to me, wrapping one hand securely around her lower back, the other held her face to mine. I could feel her blood heating. She was so warm….

Bella's POV

I don't know how this happened. I was reclining in the tub, but as soon as Edward stood, I wanted him to hold me. Regardless of my lack of clothing, I wanted him. I needed him. Now, we were kissing. He held me securely, his left hand roaming up and down my back firmly. His right hand stroking my face, neck, and shoulders. I could feel myself warming. My blood was singing, pounding in my ears. I wanted more. I wanted him in this moment. We had been apart for so long, we were in so much pain. Was it wise to let this continue? How confused I was! I could feel his hand on my waist, touching my bare waist. He had snaked his wrist inside the robe to touch me, but no more. He just wanted a taste….and oh, I wanted him to taste me. I had never felt this way. I had never wanted this before. Oh, it felt….incredible.

Edward's POV

I could feel her becoming heavy in my arms, not that I couldn't hold her. She couldn't hold herself up, so I pulled her closer to me. Her every curve fitting mine, perfectly. How far would this go before we stopped? Her lips parted slightly and I pounced, filling her mouth with my tongue. I swept in and captured her. She was holding me so close, it was painful. I could smell her wanting me. I could tell where this would go if I didn't stop. I broke our kiss, and kissed her face. I inhaled deeply, although I had no need for air, "Bella, we have to stop." She was kissing my throat and her hands were still tangled in my hair. It was rather distracting, in the bathroom mirror I noticed my eyes had turned black. Not from thirst, but from desire. She slowly looked up and cringed. She backed away, "I'm sorry." She whispered, "I-i…." She pulled the robe tighter against her, it had gaped open just enough to show me her creamy, porcelain skin. I turned and walked out. I felt like I had rejected her, but I hadn't. I had just saved her life.


	9. Chapter 9

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. These and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I however, lay claim to borrow them for this work of fan fiction.

Beginning of Our End

Chapter 9

Bella's POV

In a way, I felt rejected. I felt confused all over again, yet only 2 seconds ago everything seemed so clear. I felt cheated. He had been the one to leave me! Surely he could give me this one thing he owed me.

_Well, that's awfully selfish of you, Isabella Swan…._

Yes, now I was so angry at myself I even used my full and dreaded name. But it felt so unfair. I sat there on the tile floor for a very long time. I spent most of this time fuming; but the rest of the time, in thought. What should we do?

The answer was simple. Since everyone probably thought I was dead, why not make it happen? Why not just die? One small heart-beat ended….one lifetime in exchange for eternity.

Edward's POV

I shut the bathroom door and leaned against it. I was panting. I was trying to erase her smell from my nose; her feminine smell had me entranced in so many ways, I almost had claimed her for all my own. I had almost killed her. Her skin was so soft, so warm. So tantalizing….

_Flawlessly, gorgeous beauty: such pain you cause, and yet, such delight…._

I could imagine her and I now. Together: intimately, passionately. It would prove much more difficult for me to control things. I had to get her back with my family. They could protect her from me much more efficiently. I hopped away from the wall when I heard her begin moving inside the bathroom again. I made it down to the kitchen within a second, before she exited.

Bella's POV

I was still flushed from my little seducing act. I had cinched up the robe securely this time, and made my way back to Edward's room. I found a pair of sweat pants in his dresser and decided to rummage through Alice's dresser as well. I found a crimson cami and paired that with my gray pants. I felt comfortable; heck, I wasn't aiming for Forks Pageant Queen. I quietly walked downstairs, still embarrassed and unsure of what to say to him. I sat at the bar in silence as he paced around from the fridge to the pantry. "Um…" I began,, "So, what did you buy?" He held up boxes of cereal and ramen. All different flavors from different brands. I reached for the Count Chocula cocoa puffs. No competition there. He grinned and pulled a carton of milk from the fridge, pouring a small amount into my cereal and added some to a glass as a drink.

Edward's POV

I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, but it was nearly impossible to think of anything to say. I swallowed, "I think I need to hunt." She dropped her spoon with a splash into her cereal, "O-oh….okay. Um, how long will you be gone?" I sighed, in order to sate this thirst, it would take a couple bears and lions. "Maybe a whole day." I looked at the floor, "I could wait if that would make you feel better." I picked up her now empty dishes, "I was thinking you and I should leave for Juneau pretty soon anyway." She gulped, "Alaska? Is that where you've been?" I continued, "Well, yes, the rest of the family is there and since you've been posted as dead….well, I thought it might be best to leave things as they are."

_Just disappear._

Bella's POV

I choked on my milk when he said I was posted as dead. Surely…they wouldn't have given up so quickly, would they? "W-when did they give up on me?" My eyes were ahead of me in the tear department. He tossed me a newspaper.

_**TEEN COUPLE DIES IN CRASH**_

_**Isabella Marie Swan and Michael Douglas Newton were last seen on October 17, 2007 at the Roller-Inn Café at 8:27pm. Waitress at Café reported having heard them discuss a bonfire in La Push. Bonfire yet to be confirmed. Newton's SUV was found off the cliffs of La Push on H.W. 101. The car appeared to have swerved off of the road, flipped, and landed on the sandy beach. Swerving of car is suspected to be owed to Newton being under the influence of alcohol. Waitress at aforementioned café claims he appeared to be "quite under the influence", whereas Swan appeared "completely oblivious to his lack of sobriety". Newton died from asphyxiation due to a broken neck, a common cause of death for crash victims. Swan's body was nowhere to be found. It appears as though she might have been dragged off by wolves. Funeral services for Newton will be held at the Hill Church on H.W. 101 on Monday at 2pm. Services for Swan are pending.**_

I didn't realize until the page blurred that I had been crying. How often is it that you read your own obituary in the paper? How often is it that you find you cannot return to your normal life because you have no explanation? Edward was kneeling by me and grabbed my shoulders, "Bella, I swear, if you want to return, I will turn myself in! If it would make you happier, I would walk in right now and not put up any fight." The thought him being shot by a firing squad only for them to find he was indestructible, was just enough to dent a smile in my cheeks. I shuddered, "Let's go home." I grabbed his hand and kissed it. I was ready to take on my new life. I was ready to accept it. I was going to fully forgive the love of my existence, I was going to be his for all eternity. I would love every moment of it.


	10. Chapter 10

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. These and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I however, lay claim to borrow them for this work of fan fiction.

Beginning of My End

Chapter 10

Bella's POV

Edward and I had spent the week packing a few treasured trinkets for his family. He had loaded them swiftly into the back of his Vanquish this morning. I had to see Charlie though, just one more time.

Edward and I were both dressed in black. We both wore sunglasses so no one would recognize us. I wore a scarf as to supremely disguise myself. This is how we attended my funeral. There was an empty coffin. It was black and lonely. There were wild flowers sprayed across the top. The sun kept trying to peek out of the clouds. Billy sat in his wheelchair next to Charlie. I kept looking for Jake, thinking for sure he would have attended, but then I heard it. "Poor, Billy…" Sue Clearwater muttered, cast a side-glance at the wheelchair bound chief, "His son became overly violent when he heard she was….gone. He disappeared." Mom was there, in black, "He and Bella were very close." She sighed deeply, "This town is under a heavy cloud….reminds me of why I moved away."

When it was time to wish the family.…my family well, I paused in front of Charlie. I shook his hand. When he held my hand, he breathed easier. He breathed almost as if he knew. He asked me my name and I pointed to my ears, signaling that I was deaf, as was our ruse. Edward came up swiftly and explained in a strange accent that I was indeed deaf; he said that we were close friends of mine from Arizona. My dad thanked him and shook his hands. I felt so depressed. Edward talked aloud while he signed to me, explaining Charlie was glad that we came and offered for us to stay with him. I faked signing back. He covered for me saying he and I really needed to get a head-start home. And so we did. We left behind my father and my friends. We left behind my life.

Edward started up his Vanquish and I pulled off the glasses and scarf as soon as I was covered by the tinted windows. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to do. Crying seemed to be in order, but I had done more than my share of that this week. I had decided to cast all doubt from my mind. This was what I wanted. I had always pined for this and now, here it was. I pulled my knees to my chest on the leather seat and buried my face. As soon as we were clear of Forks, Edward put the "pedal to the metal" so to speak. We made it to Juneau, Alaska in record time I was sure.

It was just after nightfall when we pulled up to the luxurious log-home. Two-stories tall and about 5 stories wide; beautiful, secluded. As soon as Edward helped me out of the car, Esme was there to wrap me in her arms. She pulled my face into her shoulder and whispered to me. I couldn't exactly hear. It was like there was a ringing in my ears, only without the ringing. All I heard was Charlie's last words as he watched my coffin being lowered into the ground, "Oh, God, how I miss her…."

Edward's POV

A week had passed and I hadn't changed her. I felt so monstrous. I felt so selfish. How could anyone have done this to her? How could I stand myself having done this to her?! I had forced her to leave her life behind, and for what, to become a monster? What kind of person was I, to let her give up her life, her soul, to damn herself for all eternity, just to be with me? Why….why was it so hard to let her go? Why was it so hard to accept her choice? She had been under a depression this time, not that she acted like it. She tried to cover it up, but I haven't spent all my years to become ignorant. She didn't sleep restfully, and when she did, she only spoke of Jacob and her parents. She rarely spoke about me anymore. Jasper had tried fixing her emotions so it would be easier for her to sleep and maybe eat. Whenever he did that she would glare at him. I felt it was best to let this run through her system. I had hugged her every night, close to my body, her sobs nearly shaking me as well. What an ugly monstrosity I am….


	11. Chapter 11

Beginning of Our End

Chapter 11

Bella's POV

I was in the shower when I finally came out of my storm of depression. I was sick of hurting him and his family anymore. I had what I wanted more than anything else on earth and I wasn't taking advantage of it. I was going to live for eternity, but I had to regain my strength first. Edward and Carlisle had been casting worried glances at me every few seconds. They were worried because I had lost a lot of weight. I was pale, well, paler than normal. My skin was clammy and cold. My eyes had dark circles beneath them. I probably resembled my vampire family very much now. I nearly laughed at the thought. Now that I was clean and dressed, I went downstairs.

"I'm hungry." I said when I found them all in the living area. They all stared at me as they had forgotten I was here. Edward appeared to let out a deep breath, relieved. Esme bustled into the kitchen, throwing pots and pans about. Carlisle kindly asked me about my health and I swore to him that I was fine. I smiled at Edward, shyly and at the same time I was apologetic. Esme hurried back with a peanut butter sandwich, claiming I needed protein most. "I'll cook you a wonderful steak for dinner!" She beamed encouragingly. I smiled at her offer. Alice was sitting in Jasper's lap watching television. Emmett and Rosalie were in their bedroom doing God-knows-what. Sometimes I wondered if Carlisle and Esme ever thought it disturbing that their children had all fallen for each other. I immediately tossed that thought, remembering that they don't think like normal humans. I felt whole again. Everything was right. Not in pieces, I was complete. I grasped Edward's hand and he took the hint. He waved to Carlisle and Esme and we escaped upstairs.

Edward's POV 

I felt so relieved when she came downstairs. Her face looked brighter than it had in days. She still looked tired, but in her eyes, I saw determination. I was ecstatic, I almost picked her up and ran with her to my room, but I had to be patient.

There. That was the signal. I grabbed her hand and with a wave to Carlisle, we disappeared. I laid back on my bed, and pulled her down with me. She sat up and immediately began what I was sure would be a speech. "I don't know what to say." She looked away, "I'm so sorry that I was brooding." _Hah, brooding_, I laughed a little, "Depressed and making me mad is more like it." I immediately regretted those words, "I'm sorry." She had dropped her gaze, "No," She began, "You're right. I had no reason to break down like that when you all have done so much for me. I had no reason to treat you all so horribly. I'm sorry, Ed-" I cut her off, "Bella, you had plenty of reason to get upset. Plenty of reason to want to kill Jasper for butting in." shook my head, "Bella, let yourself feel what you want to feel. If you are angry, be angry. If you are happy, then shout it out! Don't, don't for one second think you have to hide from me or anyone else." I pulled her face up to mine, "I love you the way you are and the way you want to be." I kissed her lightly on the forehead. She was so soft and tender. How could someone be fragile and strong at the same time? I had no idea, but she did it wonderfully. I had fallen onto my back and pulled her torso onto mine. I had one arm firmly welded around her waist, clinging onto her back. The other arm was twisted around her neck, holding her face to mine. I love how she tastes, sweet, and like a vanilla cream. She was the essence of woman. Our kisses became heated. I could feel her moving her body weight to straddle me.

Bella's POV 

I had no idea what I was doing, but I had moved so I was on top of him. I had my fingers caressing his face and neck gently. I could feel a groan rising in his throat as we kissed. He snaked his tongue into my mouth somehow. I loved how he tasted, of raw spearmint. I leaned my body weight further onto him. A moan escaped my lips when he moved his mouth down my throat. I felt his tongue swirl in the hollow of my neck. His hands ran firmly and safely up and down my back. I was holding onto his shoulders while he kissed me. Why was it suddenly cold? I felt my shirt being lifted over my head. I wasn't wearing a bra and there I was; bare to him and our lust. He lightly rolled me off of him and, discarding his own shirt, he had trapped me under him. He breathed coolly on my chest, "You are beautiful, my love." I wasn't sure if I wanted to be touched or not. That is, until I felt his fingertips lightly probe my chest. They rained over my breasts lightly. Barely touching me, he kept staring into my eyes. Even when he lowered his face to kiss, he kept looking at me. Whether I was in heaven or hell, I didn't know. It was a sweet torment.

Edward's POV

I was scared. More than that, I was aroused. I was extremely aroused and lustful. When did I remove our shirts? I felt her shift underneath me, gently and probably without meaning to, she grazed her hips against mine. I could feel my hunger growing. I could feel myself begin to give up. All of the control I had worked so hard for, all of my sanity….it was lost from that moment on.


	12. Chapter 12

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. These and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I however, lay claim to borrow them for this work of fan fiction.

Good news, I found my flash drive. Bad news, I began suffering from writer's block. This is not a terribly detailed chapter. Sorry.

Edward's POV

"Bella," I struggled to get the words through my mouth because I couldn't bear breaking our kiss. As gently as I could, I seized her face and held her still. I looked seriously into her eyes, "Bella…we can't. I-I'll hurt you. I cannot bear the thought of hurting you." I shook my head as much control as this was demanding, it was a stiff shake, "Please. Wait." Her face dropped. She looked confused and embarrassed, "Edward, you won't hurt me. Please, you won't do anything wrong. You love me too much." She leaned her mouth to my ear, "Please, I want you to change me as soon as possible, but I want this one thing before." She slid her warm chest against mine and snuggled into my neck. She continued, "I'm sure as a vampire it will still be just as good, but…it won't be the same. Please." I couldn't bear to say no to that and neither could my male side. I struggled with my thoughts, "I love you," I pulled her face up to mine. I was a little more urgent this time, she could feel my excitement.

Bella's POV

Edward kissed me roughly. Thoroughly. He was fixed to my mouth, not that I minded. It was a kiss that made me want him to kiss me like this all over. I could feel his hands searching. One went to the front of my jeans, as his other curved around my hips. I felt him grazing the front of my jeans lightly at first, and I jumped. He then picked up a medium pace that had me panting. I ground against his lap now. I was straddling him again, although I forgot how I got there. He gently asked, "Are you sure?" I nodded dizzily as he continued rubbing me. I felt his hand leave me and he brought my face to his to kiss him again.

Edward's POV

Were my hands sweaty? Nonsense. I was struggling on the button and zipper of her jeans. My hands kept slipping. Was I nervous? Vampires don't get nervous. Finally I felt her hand take mine's place and she got her pants undone. I leapt in, touching her all over. She kissed me harder and I felt her hands move down my hips to the front of my pants, where I was, not at all relaxed. Slowly and tormenting, I felt my zipper give way. She gently began stroking me, but I stopped her. "No," I breathed urgently, "This is all for you." I held her hands hostage. I flipped her under me, and slowly slid her jeans down her legs. She shivered. Her legs were beautiful. I seized an ankle and kissed it, licking my way up her knees. Lathering her with my tongue, I continued my exploration to her thigh and licked at the inside, avoiding her center. I gently placed my index finger on her navel and dragged it downward to reach her core. She jumped and I carefully steadied her. She was so warm and ready for me.

Bella's POV

In a way, I guess I was scared. For once, I truly appreciated his coolness. His fingers were probing, testing these waters. We were in un-chartered territory. It was unbelievable. He was stroking and teasing me. It felt so good. Oh! I jumped and tensed as he touched my center. He had slid one finger down me so agonizingly slow. I had tried to get in his pants but he wouldn't let me. I didn't mind a whole lot though, this felt too good. This felt so right.

Edward's POV

I whispered in her hair, "Last chance, is this what you want?" I ground myself, still covered in boxers, against her, still covered in uderwear. She groaned and pleaded, "Yes…" I sat up as briefly as I could to finish removing my jeans and now my boxers as well. I was fully ready and eager, but I had to take this slow for her. I gently lowered myself and lightly licked her now soaked underwear. I pulled them down her leg with my teeth. I got impatient and shredded them, "Sorry." I muttered and took her beauty in with a long gaze. _So painstakingly beautiful_…I lowered again to her and touched her. I carefully slid myself inside a little ways. She gasped a little, in pleasure. I continued as slowly as possible. My muscles bulged in restraint. I reached her virtue. I kissed her and whispered, "I love you." She gasped in pain this time, as I invaded her fully and claimed her as my own. She shivered against me, nails digging into my back. I pulled back out, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, baby! I knew this wasn't right." I was angry at myself now, I had hurt her. She pulled my arm, "Edward, it was just you taking me as yours forever." She smiled sheepishly, "It was a little more than I could bear?" She tried joking with me. I laid back down next to her, "Okay." I pulled her on top of me. She looked scared, I gently placed her on my tip, and pushed her down slowly. She moaned softly, and slowly gyrated her hips to accustom herself with me. It was driving me crazy. It felt so wonderful.

Bella's POV

Of course it hurt at first, but compared to what was happening now, it was nothing. It felt so…incredible. I was scared that I wasn't pleasing him at all, but the look on his face told me different. His eyes were closed and he was flexing one hand around the bed post and with the other, tracing small circles on my chest. I began moving a little quicker. I pushed myself onto him, again and again. All of the sudden, I was falling. I felt like my lungs were ripped out of me. My center was throbbing like my heart had run down there for a visit. It felt so wonderful. I felt Edward lightly pulling on me to keep moving. I did. I ground harder against him every time he entered me. One last time I settled on him and I felt it. I felt him begin pulsing and so did I. Our core hearts beat in perfect harmony. We breathed heavily and I fell against him. We were still connected. We were together. Forever. Eventually the feelings faded and he laid me next to him, pulling the silk comforter over us. He kissed my forehead lightly, with his cool lips, "I love you." It was the last thing I heard before sleep claimed me. I barely muttered out my reply, "Love you too." I sighed deeply and began dreaming.


	13. Chapter 13

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. These and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I however, lay claim to borrow them for this work of fan fiction.

I am thinking of ending this fiction here and beginning a sequel. Review and let me know what you think!

Edward's POV

Oh. My. God. I had gone over 100 years not knowing this?! I had spent this much time with her, wanting this every second of every day, and not realizing I had enough self-control to actually go through with this? Wow. I disconnected our relaxed bodies with great reluctance and care and laid her next to me, tucking the blanket around her securely. The feeling of us pulsing in unison was amazing. I felt so whole, so complete at that moment. "I love you," I kissed her forehead. She murmured what sounded like a reply and drifted off to sleep. I laid beneath the blanket with her heat radiating off of her naked skin. I snuggled as close to her as I dared, without touching. Everyone's thoughts in the house were the same: contentment, love. No doubt we weren't the only ones who had "made love" this evening.

Made love: I knew what it meant now. We had created something more than lust in what we did. We had created passion, strength, power…the very essence of love. We had _made love_ in our deed tonight. We had strengthened our love-bond. I felt so incredibly strong. I had just made love to someone as fragile as her, and I didn't hurt her. I felt so loved. It felt so good...

I wanted to lay with her forever, but doing what we had had tried my hunger. I was now starving, awakened with a thirst. Her blood, not near a temptation it had once been, was still a tasty morsel: a decadent dessert laid before the main course. I reluctantly pulled away from her, and slipped into my discarded jeans. I opened my door quietly and stalked through the dark house. Carlisle was in the living room when I walked in. He was also shirtless, reclining on the couch watching television. He looked at me as if he knew. Did I have any need to feel ashamed? No. "I'm going to hunt. Tell Bella if she wakes," I faded into the dark night.

I felt so much more alive this night than any other. The smells of the forest, animals, trees, wind, water…it was all so much more vibrant this night. I felt powerful, strong: invincible. I was so happy. So alive.


	14. Author's Note IMPORTANT

Author's Note

Hey all. You seem to really enjoy my fanfic, so I shall entertain you with one parting chapter before I continue this in a sequel (it will be a long parting chapter). I do not yet know the name of my sequel, but it will be something along the lines of "My End or My Beginning?" or "My Awakening". If not, it'll be posted under my stories authored. I was also wishing to write a Jacob/Bella fiction, although I am not fully into that pairing. It will be lemoniscious. Very sad as well. Keep the reviews coming and if you have any ideas or some of your own Twilight dreams that you wish to be made reality, please, feel free to ask me and I will write it for you. Thank you all. I shall post my parting chapter as soon as possible. More lemons to come.

Your Author


	15. Chapter 14

I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. These and their respective characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer and her creative mind.

I however, lay claim to borrow them for this work of fan fiction.

Last chapter guys, this is a good one. Enjoy. I'll be working on my sequel from now on out.

Beginning of My End

Chapter 14

Bella's POV

I woke at sunrise and to my disgruntlement I found myself alone. Naked and alone. The night's events streamed slowly into my head and I sighed contentedly. A smile crept across my face as the sunbeams stretched over the bed to reach me. I rolled over to the edge of the bed and cautiously slid one foot out to reach the cold floor. Then the other foot followed. As is my curse though, I fell into a heap, off-balanced by my legs, I landed tangled in the blanket on the floor. I harrumphed and gathered myself up. I glanced into Edward's closet and seized a bathrobe and made my way to the bathroom. Where on earth was he?

Edward's POV

Two deer, a wildcat, and a small bear later: my thirst was almost satisfied. This was the worst it had been since I had met Bella. Uncontrollable. I swallowed the remaining gulp I left in my throat and sighed. I stood and ran. I ran until I came to the edge of the lake. The mountains reflected like a mirror on the still surface. The birds flew lazily and the fish nipped at the ripples occasionally cast across the water. It was breathtaking. I would have to bring Bella here. It could be our new meadow. I leaned and stretched backwards. The sun was setting, I had filled myself to content. I could now return to my love, the love of my existence.

Bella's POV

Feeling no need to change clothes, I remained in the bathrobe all day. Carlisle had said Edward had gone hunting and would back later this evening. I nearly cried. I felt as if I needed him now. I did need him! I didn't have a chance to tell him...well, let him know I enjoyed...uh, forget it. It's a girl thing, we like to talk about how we feel.

I went around in a mood all day, driving Jasper finally to his room with my anxiety. Alice tried to take me upstairs to play dress up, because a bthrobe wasn't very appealing. I was very uncooperative. Esme assured me it was not at all anything for me to worry about. Edward would be back before night time. Emmett tried getting me to play a board game with him, but I convinced Alice to take my place. I stared out of the bay window all day. Finally, Carlisle invited me into his office. I reluctantly followed, feeling like a naughty child caught doing something wrong.

"So…" He sighed sitting behind his desk after seating me in a very comfy armchair. He raised his hands slightly, as if surrendering, "I do not wish for this to be awkward and for you to feel like you have to submit any information, but, I know about last night." I blushed to extremes. I had a fealing everyone knew. Especially Jasper, with all the emotion Edward and I were bringing in last night. Carlisle continued concernedly, "I wanted to know if you were okay. Were there any problems?" My mouth dropped slightly. I was a little shy, and then again defensive, "Y-yes. Everything is fine. I think? I mean, I kinda fell asleep and he left before I woke up…so…we didn't get to...talk." I was blushing horribly now, I was sure of it, "I actually wanted him to change me tonight. After all…I mean, we've come this far." I smiled sheepishly. Carlisle nodded, "Of course, I completely understand. Do you want it to be just you and him?" I nodded, "Yes." He put his hands behind his head, leaning back into them, "Alright. Well, everything seems to be arranged, you might want to tell him now."

Edward's POV

Not smelled her all day, her scent hit me, hard. I stumbled as she ran toward me. I couldn't get her into my arms fast enough. We embraced and I kissed her persuasively in the entry hall of my home. Her hands explored my shirtless chest thoroughly. We parted, after a very heavy make-out session, sadly and visited with my family for a little while until we all retired to our prospective evening activities. Jasper and Alice were left playing video games. Emmett and Rosalie left for a midnight picnic, or AKA: a good, old-fashioned romp in the woods. Carlisle and Esme turned to their bedroom in silence, not at all hinting at their activities. I seized my Bella's hand and gathering her up in my arms, I ran with her upstairs.

She giggled as I nuzzled her neck with my mouth playfully. She laughed lightly, "Did you miss me?" I nodded heavily, "Yes…very much…especially after last night." She blushed, I heard her heart beat up faster. She looked down at the floor, "E-edward? I had a question…" I looked up from kissing her shoulder, "Yes love?" She backed away from me slightly so I could see her face better, "Well, will you make love to me one last time?"

_One last time? _

I was confused, "What do you mean one last time? I want to make love to you for eternity." She giggled nervously and looked away, "That's what I mean. I want you to bite me after you make love to me. Tonight." She straddled my lap and kissed me, "Bite me, and truly make me yours, Edward Cullen. Make me like you, a monster..." It was difficult to concentrate properly. She was on top of me and it was very distracting. Horribly so. Parts of me were at full-attention, waiting for her command.

I understood, _Make love to me one last time as I am human..._

I held her face, "Bella, you have no idea how low my control was after we made love." I sighed deeply and fell back against the bed, she was still straddling me. She laid her head down to my chest and sighed, "I believe in you, darling." She lifted her face up, "You can do it, for me…" I stroked her cheek with the back of my hand. She turned her face and kissed it. I smiled sadly, "I love you, you know that?" She nodded and I continued, "I will make love to you tonight, but it will not be the last time. It will be the second of many times to come." I thought slyly for a moment, "I just made a dirty joke." She giggled, "Yes, you did."

Eventually, we fell into a kiss, not as quickly as I would have liked. I wrapped my arms around her waist. She wrapped her legs around my back and we sat like that for a very long time, just kissing. Our tongues dancing, storking, easing our ways into eachother further. I moved her so that she was laying down and I was next to her. I stroked every inch of her robed body. Every peek of flesh I devoured with my eyes and mouth. I slid my hands inside of her robe and shrugged it off of her shoulders. She moaned lowly as I began my exploration over the entirety of her body. I kissed her leg, lightly nipping with my lips covering my teeth. I kissed her center with my cool tongue, delving deeper into her core.

Bella's POV

I was not sure whether or not he accepted to change me, but who cares when he's making love like **this** to you. I felt him probing with his cool lips and his sly tongue. He slid in and around every nook and cranny of me. I felt his lips abandon me only to be replaced by a stone finger. He glided to my core and gently pushed his way into me as he lathered my belly with kisses. He slid his fingers in and out of me, slowly, so agonizingly slow. His fingers knew how to move! I shivered in delight and began rocking with his hand. Withdrawing himself, he stopped me from moving and turned me over onto him. He pulled the blanket over us, he still half-clothed. I saw in his eyes a kind of longing. I wanted to please him as much as he pleased me. I reached for his zipper and began to pull it down, when I stopped. I wiggled down between his legs and grabbed it with my teeth. It came undone without a fight and I kissed him through his boxers, his hips bucked involuntarily. I lathered kisses up and down his length being shielded only by boxers. He was holding on so tightly to the bed post, his finger prints would probably have embedded themselves by now. I brought a hand up to join the kisses in stroking him. Despite the rest of him being cold, this part of him felt almost room-temperature. I stroked harder and quicker, I kissed his belly and hips. He was actually taking quick breaths. I grinned evilly and slowed to a stop, kissing his tip one last time. He frowned, "Well," he sighed, "I supposed it is only fair," He tackled me underneath him and wrestled his jeans and boxers off. I was anticipating this. No matter how many times we would do this, I surely would never get used to it.

Edward's POV

I was free of all clothing and I kissed her as I entered her slick folds. She groaned and jumped slightly, still tender from last night's romp. I kissed her neck as I withdrew fully. I was flexing my muscles taut, holding myself off of her and holding myself back. It was my first time on top and I was so worried about my self-control. She pressed her hips up to meet me this time, eager for me to visit her again. I eagerly entered. We began moving as wheat in the field moves. Like twin waves, in perfect sync. It was rough, but at the same time smooth. Strong is a good word for it. We were strong in our pattern. She and I held together firmly, but softly. We continued this harmony until her breathing changed. She was close.

I picked up the pace only slightly. She began pulsing around me. It was incredible feeling her wet and warm against me cool and hard. She was so soft, I drove into her three more times. The last time I rested inside of her, our orgasms ripped through us. She pulsed stronger this second time, matching each of my throbs with her own. She was wet all over with sweat and her feminine liquid. I actually felt warm. She looked into my eyes as our climaxes began to slow, "Bite me, Edward." She raised a wrist. I lowered my head to the wrist and kissed it lightly, "I love you." Our bodies, still joined at our hips, hummed one last time.

I licked her wrist before pricking my fangs into her skin. I sunk my teeth into her soft flesh and bone. I tasted her. She was a sweet, decadent dessert. She moaned as I sucked a little of her blood from her wrist. She tasted wonderful. So sweet and warm, and delicious. I felt my eyes dilate. My pupils were swelling and my throat began itching. A bloodlust was coming on, I had to remove my mouth. My lips instinctively clamped around her wrist tighter.

I heard her thoughts. Every thought she ever had about me, they filled my mind as her blood ran down my throat. I saw her nightmares after I left. I saw her face when she and I went to our meadow. I saw her murmuring in her sleep about me. She said she loved me. She said...

_Withdraw…_

A shock ripped through me and I sucked a final fill of blood. I drew my mouth away agonizingly slow, licking the skin as I pried away. I savored every drop. Nothing was to be wasted. I looked to her face. She met my eyes once more before the pain came over her. Her eyes at that last moment were full of love, trust, beauty.

She began to moan softly, but they soon became cries of torment. I disconnected our bodies and covered her thrashing body with my comforter. I leaned over her protectively, and yelled for Carlisle. He rushed in with Esme, "You bit her?!" He exclaimed. Esme tried to cease Bella's thrashings, to keep her nakedness covered. Carlisle handed me her discarded robe to cover my own nakedness. I placed it around myself and curled up next to Bella. I held her close to me whispering quietly. I began to hum and sing softly, hoping to ease her pain. Carlisle and Esme withdrew to tell the others. No one would disturb us.

_I am sorry my love..._

I laid my arm around her waist and would not move for 3 days. I would not leave her for eternity.

This was how my existence with Bella Swan began.


	16. Author's Note UPDATE

Author's Note

Sorry I haven't updated or even started the sequel yet, guys. I'm suffering from writer's plot block and from a busy life. I worked two weeks everyday in a row and didn't have a moment to relax. Now, I am busy trying to find college funding and preparing for ACTs and SATs. It's very annoying because I would love to continue writing, but I must put this last on my list of things to do. Firstly, school. Second, work. Third, people. Fourth, writing. I promise I will update as soon as I can breathe. It won't take me long to begin writing the next saga. Love to all, hate to none. Keep reviewing, especially to help my writer's block. Oh, what's your opinion on them being parent's in the story? I can actually fit it in quite well. I have a cover and everything. I don't do anything sci-fi when it comes to Bella and Edward. No force field births or super-growth kids. LoL, enjoy and keep encouraging me.


	17. Author's Note FINAL ONE GUYS

Author's Note

You guys must be absolutely sick of me writing all of these notes…well, I've started chapter 1 and 2 of my sequel. I am in a revision period for it though. It's looking good so far, I think you will love it. I want to do an Alice/Jasper story as well. I'd make it be very simple and sweet. I am also trying to come up with a title for my sequel: _Beginning of My Eternity_ sounds good to me, what think ye? Well, I'll upload ASAP. Let me know if you want them to have a kid. Do you want one of them to eventually die? What do you want to happen? Give me ideas. Message me or review me. Thanks.


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